What did I do to Deserve This?

 

Am I worshipped, or am I an embarassment?

 

Growing up all alone, though some were close to me we never touched. It made me stronger. Every year the feelings of bitterness consumed me, but it was something I could not control. 

 

Those eyes, always staring at me. So beedy. I could never decipher if they were looking at me or passed me. Their unwanted nails dug into me with no care for consent. This constantly brought me to think of if I existed at all. If I died, would anyone care?

 

And then they came. As I watched them their eyes glared at me. They tortured me. They took me from my home, tied me up and made me into an object. Carried away into a beast whose stench burns into my very soul. 

 

The most unimaginable thing happened next. All eyes were on me, as if I were beautiful. They cloacked me and kept me warm. Creatures I had never met before were feeding me and enjoying my presence. They gawked at me. I felt special. Are these cratures the family I have always yearned for? Am I finally home?

 

And just like that I was thrown away, like garbage. I felt raped as they removed the idols they wrapped upon me. Because I am voiceless they treat me as if I have nothing to say. What was I to them? Just something to mock at? Was it all out of humour. 

 

For the first time in my life, I felt special. Now I lie on such a disgusting floor that the creatures whose nails once dug into me refuse to touch me. Their eyes now look at me, that I am sure. But, they look at me with emphathy. 

 

What will happen to me next? If I die now where will my soul go? I am so thirsty here... So tired. 

 

Was I worshipped? Or was a an embarassment?

 

The life of a Christmas Tree is not one I'd refer to anyone.